You’re not alone if preschool behavior sometimes feels baffling. One minute, your 3-year-old is playing peacefully with a few toys at the table.\u00a0 The next, she’s running around the room in a fury, dumping every single toy onto the floor.<\/p>\n
Why do preschoolers do this? And why do they struggle with the many other challenging behaviors that make you want to pull your hair out?<\/p>\n
Rest assured that there is a developmental reason for challenging preschool behavior. Knowing that your child’s frustrating actions are actually evidence that they are right on track with their growth can be helpful.<\/p>\n
It’s time for bed and your 4-year-old falls to the ground crying, refusing to make a move in the direction of their bedroom. Or you give your 3-year-old a snack on the purple plate, and they scream and cry because they wanted the green plate.<\/p>\n
Familiar?<\/p>\n
What’s Going on:<\/strong> It’s normal. Your child is still getting a handle on their emotions. When things don’t go as they planned, they don’t always have the ability to take that disappointment in stride. Knowing this can help you avoid the urge to moralize their behavior. They aren’t “bad,” “naughty,” “selfish,” or “bratty.” They’re simply a child having a hard time in the moment.<\/p>\n What You Can Do:<\/strong> Show empathy. Hug your child or get near (if they’ll let you) and tell them you’re sorry things aren’t going the way they want. “You really wish you had the green plate, don’t you?”<\/p>\n Remember: This isn’t a time to reason with them. Fight the urge to use logic. It would be tempting to say, “But your favorite color is purple!” Or, “But you’re still getting a sandwich. It doesn’t matter what color the plate is.” But that logic won’t help in this moment. Your child’s brain is flooded with big emotions, and they simply need love, understanding, and connection to calm down.<\/p>\n Once your child’s big emotions have minimized, you can offer a suggestion or ask if your child has a suggestion. “Would you like me to set the purple plate aside for dinner time?” Or, “What would help you feel better about the plate?”<\/p>\n You just<\/em> finished cleaning the playroom when your 3-year-old comes and dumps the blocks all over the room. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it; your child is just making a huge mess!<\/p>\nMesses Galore!<\/h2>\n