Your Preschooler Is Full of Compassion. How to Make Sure That Sticks.

Your preschooler definitely isn’t selfish. She was born with an ability and desire to care about others.

But that doesn’t mean she always acts in compassionate ways.

And that’s okay! Learning the character trait of compassion takes time. Just as in everything else, we learn compassion little by little. And just as in everything else we’re trying to teach our children, us adults are still developing the skill of compassion as we go!

So be patient. Realize there will be bumps along the way. Your child may be compassionate in one instance, but not another. They may need to be taught different elements of compassion again and again.

Use these tips to teach compassion to your preschooler and keep it at the forefront of your child’s life.

Give Compassion to Your Child

One of the most important things you can do to teach compassion to your preschooler is to give compassion to him. If he experiences it himself, he’ll want others to as well. Plus, he’ll know how to be compassionate, having already experienced it.

When your child is hurt, sad, or sick, be compassionate. Tell them you’re sorry they’re not feeling well, and give them affection and care. Take them seriously. If they’re bothered by something, don’t tell them they shouldn’t be. Show them empathy in even the smallest of situations, and they’ll understand compassion more fully.

Trust That Your Child Can Be Compassionate

Believe that your child is kind. Believe that your child is not malicious.

Remove words from your vocabulary that assign moralistic failure. Your child isn’t selfish or rude if they don’t want to share toys or comfort a sad child. They’re developing skills, and don’t yet know how to react in all situations. Trust that they’ll get there, and always believe that they are good.

Assume your child wants to be kind to others, rather than thinking your child is a bully, selfish, or unkind. If they’re behaving in a way that you perceive as selfish, ask yourself, “What skill are they lacking?” Then, focus on teaching them the skill, not criticizing them for selfishness.

Know they can do this, and they will.

Treat Your Child with Respect

how to teach your preschooler compassion

It’s easy to get into command mode as a parent. We’re responsible for teaching, protecting, feeding, clothing, and caring for our children. That’s a lot! And sometimes, that means you have to tell your child to stop watching a show and put their shoes on.

But make sure you do this respectfully.

You wouldn’t abruptly and harshly end a lunch date with your friend without warning, so don’t abruptly end your time at the park with your child. Be respectful and compassionate as you move throughout your day.

If your friend was crying, you wouldn’t tell her to stop. You’d comfort her. Speak kindly to your child, and be respectful when they struggle.

Model Compassion

Live a compassionate life. Your children learn from watching your behavior.

If you are treated rudely by a cashier, model compassion by not being snarky back to them. Later, show compassion in how you discuss the cashier. “I wonder if he was having a bad day today.”

When someone needs your help, offer it, even if it is inconvenient. It’s important for children to see you care about people at all times. Teach them that any time is the right time to be compassionate.

Volunteer your time formally with an organization if you can. If you can bring your child along without disrupting the help you’re there to provide, do so!

Talk About Compassion

Teach your preschooler compassion by naming it. Explain what it is, so your child recognizes compassion when she sees it.

Give your child examples of compassion that are meaningful to their stage of life.

For example, you can talk about being kind to siblings and looking for ways to help at home.

You can talk about ways they can be compassionate in the neighborhood — keeping their eye out for elderly neighbors, picking up trash, putting out bird feeders, and noticing when someone seems sad.

At school, they can be compassionate by sharing their toys, being respectful and taking turns, and comforting a sad friend.

Right now, during the COVID-19 pandemic, you can teach your child that the most compassionate thing they can do for others is to stay home. But they can reach out to friends, family, and neighbors in creative ways, like leaving messages on your sidewalk and in your window, sending messages with technology, and having virtual conversations.

Point It Out

When your child sees examples of compassion, it will be easier to understand the concept. As you watch shows and read books together, point out compassionate characters. Likewise, when someone isn’t being treated compassionately in a show or book, point it out. Notice the character’s face and say, “I think she feels sad about the way her friend talked to her. What do you think?

Out in the world, point out when someone is kind to you. If someone lets you in their lane, say, “That sure was nice, wasn’t it?” When your elderly grandparent tells you someone shoveled their walk or raked their leaves, tell your children about the kind deed.  When your child comforts their baby sibling, say, “That was very compassionate of you.”

Talk about the helpers out in the world who are working to keep us safe during the pandemic. Talk about how hard it must be for the brave nurses and doctors, paramedics, grocery store workers, warehouse workers, utility workers, and delivery drivers. This will help your child have compassion for them, while also appreciating the compassion those people have for others.

 

Volunteer

how to teach your preschooler to have compassion

Look for age-appropriate opportunities to volunteer in your community. This will help your child get in the habit of thinking compassionately about what others need.

At UDA Creative Arts Preschool, we help teach compassion by participating in Project Sleep Tight. Our students bring in donations of blankets, stuffed animals, and books to share with children who are homeless. As we assemble the kits, we have some of our most meaningful conversations with the children. They really think about what it means to be someone else and how to help others. At this age, they feel compassion without even trying, and the project helps solidify that strength they already have.

Your child can also give away toys and clothing, write letters, visit people who are lonely, make cookies for a neighbor, get the mail for an elderly neighbor, and more.

During this pandemic, ask your child for ideas on how they can help others while not being in contact with people. You might be surprised by their creative solutions!

To learn more about UDA Creative Arts Preschool in Draper, Utah, contact us online or give us a call at (801) 523-5930.

How to Schedule Your Days with Your Preschooler During Quarantine

how to scheduled your day with your preschooler

We’re living in an unprecedented time. Because of the coronavirus COVID-19, children all around the world are at home with no school, no play dates, and no certainty. We’re concerned about what’s going on out there, and we want to help keep our children occupied, educated, and active in our homes.

Use these tips to make a schedule for quarantine that will work well for your preschooler.

Curb Anxiety About the Coronavirus COVID-19

Our children are watching us, and they’ve certainly picked up on what’s happening. They’ve likely heard the word coronavirus multiple times, and in multiple contexts. You can help them feel better about it by:

  • Modeling confidence. Face your own anxieties and handle them before having a conversation with your child.
  • Talking about it.  Ignoring the topic can actually make your child more anxious. Tell them the facts as they need to know about them, always being mindful of the emotional tone you’re setting.
  • Sharing developmentally appropriate information. Don’t speculate, talk about exaggerated fears, or be otherwise overwhelming with your information. Answer the questions your child puts forth in a factual, reassuring way.
  • Asking your child what they’ve heard. This will help you know what to address, what myths to clear up, and what worries are on your child’s mind.
  • Providing reassurance.
  • Teaching your children the measures you’re taking to stay safe. It can empower your child to know that washing hands is an actionable step they can take to prevent the spread of the virus.

Provide Structure

Children love routine, and they thrive with it. If the word routine makes you squeamish, don’t worry. We’re not saying you have to schedule your day by the half hour (but you can, if that works for you!). The important thing is that your days follow a similar, predictable routine that your child can come to depend on.

First, keep your mealtimes and nap times the same as they normally are. Then, add in some or all of the following:

Get Your Child’s Input

Your child has ideas for what will make this time enjoyable. She also has ideas for how she can be responsible during this time. Ask for her input and use it when you can.

Keep a Normal Sleep Schedule

It’s tempting to treat this like a vacation, and you can certainly let some rules and routines go out the window right now. But if you keep your child on a normal sleep schedule, he’ll be better adjusted and capable of handling this time at home. Plus, it will help you make the transition back to school when the time comes.

Learn

Teach the same subjects your child is learning in preschool. At UDA Creative Arts Preschool, we put together packets and videos for our students that teach what we learn when we’re all together. Take advantage of this time for one-on-one learning, and help your child develop in these areas:

  • art
  • motor skills
  • science
  • reading and writing
  • music and movement
  • social studies
  • math
  • character development

Do Chores

 

Even when we aren’t under quarantine, it’s a good idea to involve your child in chores. But now that we’re all spending 24/7 under one roof with our families, and with nowhere to go, the house chores might feel like they’re multiplying. Involve chore time in your daily routine, and encourage your child to learn new skills.

Have Free Play

Free play is important for your child’s development. Give your child plenty of time to imagine, create, and play what she wants to play. Pull out different objects and encourage your child to think about how to use them in their play. For example, can a wooden spoon be a baton? A pirate’s telescope? A teacher’s pointing stick at the chalkboard?

Get Outside

Keep your social distance, but get outside! Try to do it every day if the weather allows it.

If you have a backyard
  • Bring different toys outside to make the outdoors new
  • Go exploring for bugs, blossoms, and budding berries
  • Have picnics
  • Cut the grass with children’s scissors (fine-motor practice!)
  • Set up obstacle courses and relay races
  • Read on a blanket
  • Have free play
  • Have a car wash with toy cars
  • Practice sports or dance
If You Don’t Have a Backyard (or you want to go somewhere else)
  • Go for walks or bike rides around the neighborhood (Just be sure to tell your child that if he sees a friend, waving is the most you can do)
  • Go for a walk on a trail outside your neighborhood
  • Find a field (no playgrounds!) where you can run
  • Draw with sidewalk chalk. Make a road and town for toy cars.
  • Eat your lunch on the front steps
  • “Paint” the front door with water and a clean paintbrush
  • Collect twigs and blossoms, and bring them inside to make crafts
  • Walk around and look for signs of spring

How to Work While Your Child Is at Home

If you have to work from home while your child is at home with you, you’ll need to get even more creative. You can do it!

Consider when your child needs you the least. Does she take a nap? Does he wake up late, so you can get a few hours in before the day starts? Does she tend to play by herself willingly at certain times of the day? Will he work on schoolwork at the table next to you while you do your work?

Talk to your child about your workday, so she knows what to expect about your availability. Ask her what she can do on her own.

Give your child a visual routine to follow, so he can move through parts of the day without assistance.

Hang in there! You’re doing good work, and your child is lucky to have you!

To learn more about UDA Creative Arts Preschool in Draper, Utah, contact us online or give us a call at (801) 523-5930